Love Lessons
by starglow71
Summary: AU. Wincest! Sam/Dean. Sam is realizing he's gay and sets up a date. Dean shows up as he prepares for it and they are now faced with dealing with it. Romance. Schmoop. Language. Graphic sexual content. Winchester Love Story! Kinky, too!


Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters thereof.

**One-Shot Fan Fic!**

**Warning: Wincest! Sam/Dean. Some language, graphic imagery. Sexual Content. Schmoop, Angst.**

**If you don't like Wincest, don't read! I get graphic with most of my Wincest and I don't want to offend you. Don't read if that bothers you.**

**Plot: A Winchester Love Story.** Sam feels his sexuality changing and is trying to deal with his first gay date. Unfortunately his…_tutoring_ …gets interrupted by Dean coming back from a date early and it just gets more _awkward_.

How will Dean take it when he finds out his brother is Gay now?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam figured with Dean out, he'd get this over with.

Sam went over it in his head. He really wanted this! The guy was sexy and Sam was very attracted to him. They'd got the vampire doing the turning and burned the nest earlier and, for once, neither of them were hurt. Dean had his thing with the sister he'd talked to and, well, one of the brothers of another saved victim had propositioned Sam and Sam had got hard from just _looking _at the guy. Not to mention, when Allen had ran a hand along Sam's ass suggestively, that Sam had to fight not to beg the guy to just fuck him right _then!_

So now Sam searched for the right porn channel and cued it up, getting a towel as he tried to see how this was done. He'd never done this before; anal or oral on a man. He didn't dare mention this to Dean. He was feeling very gay at the moment and he was afraid Dean wouldn't understand. When a guy used terms like 'fag' and 'look at that _gay _fucker', well, it didn't make a person consider them understanding when you told them you were wanting to fuck a guy and needed help learning how.

So Sam now sat with his dick in hand and did his best to follow what the men were doing. So far the oral looked easy and now they were doing something with their mouths to the others' asses. It looked complicated though. He got hard anyway, but let that pass, a hand rubbing his hardness to relieve the pressure it was creating. Now the actor was using lube and pushing a finger into the other one, and Sam was studiously watching this…_when_ he heard the key in the door.

Sam tried desperately to decide whether to cover himself or turn off the porno. He couldn't do both in time and he knew this. So he did his best to close his pants; which, honestly, did _not_ fit at _all_ over his massive erection at the moment. Sam still fought to close them and cursed as the zipper broke on him. Swearing even worse, he fell to the floor and lunged at the television only to find Dean staring at him like a monkey trying to paint a wall with a toothbrush and failing horribly; also seeing that the monkey was also using paste to do it.

"Dude, what the _hell_ are you _doing_?" Dean asked in amusement…_until _he heard the porno which Sam was desperately struggling to turn off now. All thoughts of hiding his erection abandoned now. Unfortunately, the remote was _not_ working and Dean was now peeking at what he was watching. Sam blushed beet red as Dean tugged him up off the floor and helped him sit on the bed again. "Is that Gay _porn?_"

"Um, yeah, can you give me some time here? I…" Sam looked down blushing furiously and Dean looked at him, realization creeping into his face now, "I'm kind of busy here. Didn't you have a date or something? I _really_…yeah, please _leave!"_

"Sammy?" Dean said and his eyes brightened with understanding now. "Are you gay?"

"Um, at the moment? _Yeah._" Sam said unable to meet his eyes still. "I got a date in a few hours with that Allen guy, the one we interviewed? I haven't done this before, at _all_, honestly. I was…seeing how it was done. I don't know how and I don't want to be some _stupid_ virgin who fucks up on his first time! So, please, just _go_ away and let me _be_! I know you don't like the gay stuff and, Um, _Dean,_ what are you _doing!"_ Sam fairly squeaked as Dean approached and turned his porn off at the television itself and sat by him now, looking unhappy. "You _could_ just leave and let me have my gay moment."

"You mean you are using those idiots as role models?" Dean asked in disbelief. "You could have just asked me for advice."

"I heard your views on homosexuality enough to know how you feel about it; enough to know to _not_ go to you for help with it. The '_fag_' comments alone were incentive enough _not _to come to you, to be honest!" Sam said bitterly. "I'll leave if this bothers you _that _much." He went to go into the bathroom to work out his erection in private now, but Dean looked so upset that he stopped in mid-step. "_Dean?_"

"I'm sorry." Dean said and his eyes looked sincerely hurt now, too. "I _never_ meant to make you _think_…"

"Well, you did." Sam said cursing his damn soft heart as he sat by him again and sighed, "Can you go in the bathroom or outside so I can at least work this thing out? I guess I'll just have be horrible at this gay sex crap now but I will be _damned_ if I will jerk off in _front_ of _you!_"

"I have a better idea." Dean said stripping now.

"Dean, what do you _think_ you are _doing?_" Sam demanded again, feeling even more confused now. The sight of Dean naked was having an even _worse_ effect on his erection than the porn _had_. "_Damn _it!" Sam cursed, covering himself while also trying to relieve the pressure enough for it to go down for him. "This is one _very _fucked up situation! Dean, _seriously,_ what are you _doing?_" Obviously Dean wasn't going to answer that particular _question _so Sam was now thinking he should just stop asking it and flee the room in embarrassment; even if he had to do it with an erection that could tote a damn flag on Flag day as hard as it was getting now.

"I am undressing and then I am going to teach you what you need to know." Dean said and sighed unhappily, leaning into hug Sam now, "I'm so sorry I made you feel like you had to hide this from me. Let me make it up to you, _please_, Sammy?"

"Um, but this isn't…damn _it_…Why can't I _just _watch the porn and do it _that _way?" Sam begged. This situation was _not _getting any less embarrassing or _awkward_ and his brain had _already_ run away from the room screaming at how _insane_ this had _suddenly _gotten!

"No. No brother of mine is going to learn to have sex from a _porno,_ fuck _that!_" Dean growled then looked at Sam begging with his eyes and motioned to his body, "Am I that unattractive that you _can't_…"

"It's not…_Dean!_…I like…_okay,_ _not_ finishing _that_ sentence." Sam swore and blushed some more, eyes diverted but they _still _keptcreeping back to move up his brother's body with _obvious_ interest. "No, not _unattractive,_ but we shouldn't…not right…I _can't_..." He stared into his brother's eyes for a minute or two until he _finally_ caved, per _usual. _"Fine, you _are_ attractive. Show me how to have _gay s_ex." He shook his head, "I never expected to hear _those_ words _ever _leave my lips! Damn this is one _messed_ up situation…"

"I've been with a man so…I can help. Now undress. I'll wait." Dean said and stayed standing now.

Sam sighed and did as Dean said. "Now sit where you were, Sam." Dean said and Sam did that, too.

"Dean, I…_thank you."_ Sam said softly.

"No problem, Sammy. Now watch what I do and then you do it. Okay?" Dean asked and Sam nodded, studying him now. Dean knelt in front of him and let a hand stroke Sam's erection softly. He moved to Sam's thighs and kissed up them to his balls which he softly took in his mouth and sucked them. He also found himself loving the taste of Sam's skin and got more into it now, getting hard himself from it. Surprisingly, he didn't find this wrong in any way but he also didn't stop to consider _why _it wasn't wrongas he let his tongue work them as well.

Sam's eyes stayed on him and they darkened with desire now, but Dean could tell he was fighting it, and found himself not wanting Sam to fight it, wanting to take Sam now instead of some strange guy he barely knew. Dean stroked Sam now and let his tongue lick up the vein on the bottom and Sam moaned more now, hands hovering over his shoulders as one crept slowly over Dean's head. Dean stopped sucking long enough to smile and encourage Sam to touch him with, "It's okay to touch, Sam. It's expected. Touch me, baby. I _want_ you to."

Sam nodded, gulping nervously, and let his hands touch Dean now, one running softly through his hair. "I love you, Dean." Sam said softly and looked away in shame.

Dean looked up at him and gave him a soft smile, "_Don't_ look away, baby. I love you, _too."_

"I don't know why I…" Sam said biting a lip, afraid again. "I know I sound messed up _but_…_pleas_e don't stop? I like what you're doing." Sam gently pressed him back to his erection again, "_Please?_"

"I like what I'm doing, _too."_ Dean said and sucked him again and this time Sam's hands seemed more confident. Dean felt happy for him now; Sam was enjoying this. So he wanted to do more to make him enjoy it more. He sucked him harder now and let Sam push his mouth deeper onto him now. He could feel his orgasms coming and stopped. "Would you…would you like to suck _me,_ too?" Dean tried to read Sam's face to see how he felt about this. He could always read Sam's face; he had been able to all their lives really. "Can I be your lover? Not that guy? _Please?"_

"You want to…_really?_" Sam said uncertainly and Dean went face to face with him now; lips hesitating over Sam's now.

"Yes, I want to make love to you, baby. Can I?" Dean begged quietly, "I can't bear the thought of anyone else having this with you. Let _me _be your lover, _please?_ Choose _me,_ not him?" He sat by him now, taking his hand, "I know I have no right to ask and I understand if you don't want me but I can make you happier than he can and I won't just use you like he would. I _know_, he may want more but…I can't bear it if you have that with…_please?_ I know this is new to us and I know I never expressed this before but I've never felt it before either. I feel…I want to love you forever, Sam. _Not_ just this one time. _Please?"_ Dean sighed and went down to finish Sam off now. "I'll get you off then I'll go. You do have a _date_ to get ready for after all…" He couldn't fight a sad tear from falling and Sam saw it.

Dean thought he didn't want him, and Sam knew he shouldn't, yet…he _did_ want him. He did want him _this_ way and it was new and _scary_. And also exciting and he _did_ want to kiss those lips, and _touch_ his sexy body.

He wanted to be his lover, _too_. So he asked, "Will you love me? Really _really_ love me?" Sam waited without realizing he was holding his breath now and Dean nodded. "I'll love you until the day I die, Sammy. If you'll just please choose to love me, too."

"Would you…never mind." Sam shrugged and Dean sighed, "What? Ask me _anything,_ Sam." Dean reassured him.

"Would you consider marriage?" Sam gulped and rolled his eyes, "I know we can't _really_ but…we got the fake ID's and …it is for _forever_…" He laughed at himself bitterly, "I'm sorry, that isn't very realistic, is it?" He cried a little now, "I want it though; I know it's wrong but…_please _consider it? If I'm with you, then I'm _with _you _all_ the way. No take backs or changing our minds. It's a permanent kind of thing, you know. Marriage seems to _fit_ it."

"Yes, I'd marry you." Dean asked and smiled, "Do you want to wait for this until then?"

"_Could_ we?" Sam blushed, "Vegas isn't that far away…" He looked at Dean excited now, "We _could_ do it _tonight!"_

"Yeah, I'd like that, too." Dean smiled and they dressed now, hastily packing. He sighed happily, "You _sure?_ If we do this, it will only be just you and me now, no one else." He had to be sure they were up for this; _he_ was but…was _Sam?_ "I'm in this for the long haul if I do this with you."

"I'm sure. You're perfect for me really. And I am a virgin. I _deserve _a wedding night." Sam said and grabbed a bag now. "I don't want to be just your brother. Hell, I don't even want that. I want to be more to you. As much as I can be. I want to love you as my husband."

"Then let's go get married, Baby. I got plenty of cash. I'll get you a ring on the way even." Dean said and Sam shook his head.

"No rings. We exchange our own stuff, stuff that means something to us." Sam said fingering his leather bracelet. "I'll give you this and you give me something just as personal."

"This." Dean said taking off his silver ring. "This will work."

"Yeah, but hold off. We'll exchange them during the ceremony." Sam said and stole a brief kiss from him, "I love you, Dean."

"I love you, too, Sammy." Dean said and stole as kiss as well. Then he got serious. "I meant what I said. I will love you for the rest of my life now."

"I will love you for the rest of mine, too, Dean." Sam promised and smiled. They got in now and, twenty minutes later, they had found a wedding chapel that didn't look too girly from the outside. Once inside they chose the premium package; one with a motel stay for a couple days and some activities for them, including some Vegas shows and some gambling credits for them. "I like this one, Dean."

"Okay, we'll take that one." Dean said and showed the owner the package. The man smiled and they paid him in advance. They now were in a changing area and were looking at a rack of Groom suits.

"Get changed and I'll get your ceremony ready. We only have white roses and some carnations, will that be okay?" The man asked.

"That'll be fine." Sam agreed, not really caring about the flower choices right now but not saying so.

"Tradition music?" The man asked and Sam cringed, "No! Got anything not '_Here comes the bride'_?"

"Yes, we have some Beethoven and Chopin." The man said and Sam sighed; some choices he had _here!_

"Chopin. Something not _too_ romantic, okay?" Sam asked and the man nodded, leaving them now.

They dressed now and Dean looked at Sam's body appreciatively again. "You are _sexy_, Sam."

"So are you." Sam said and blushed, wishing he'd stop doing that _really_ soon or he'd end up growing _girl_ parts soon if this kept up. "Such a _damn_ girl!" Sam sighed, he was dressed now and _had_ to ask, "Do I look okay?" _Okay_, he checked for boobs mentally; he was _officially_ a girl _now!_

"You look fantastic!" Dean said happily and kissed him, reading his face again and kissing his uncertainty away. "_Not_ a girly thing to ask that, so stop thinking that way!"

"Sorry." Sam said and sighed, "I've never felt this way before…you sure you'll be happy with me?" He could disappoint Dean but he didn't want to.

"I'm _positive._ You are all I've ever really wanted and you were in front of me the whole time. I almost missed it; our chance to be together and happy. I won't let you go. So stop thinking that way right _now_, too!" Dean said sternly then softened, "You'll be fine, baby. _Relax!"_

"I'll try. I just wish this part was over with and you were making love to me. I hate the waiting shit." Sam said, "I just want to be married already."

"Me, too." Dean admitted and sighed, kissing him softly until Sam smiled again and was a bit breathless from it. "Damn I love you; never loved _anyone_ this damn much in my whole _life!_ You leave me; I'll have to kill you first!"

"Never leaving you, baby. _Ever._ Never loved anyone this much before either." Sam admitted.

"Not even Jess?" Dean said and Sam sighed, thinking, then shook his head.

"Nowhere _near _this much, honestly. I loved her but…it wasn't…not as intense as I feel for you. Her I could have lived without and _did_. But with you…I can't see a future without _you."_ Sam admitted and smiled, "You're It for me now; you're the One."

"You're it for me, too." Dean moved closer and they kissed harder now, their hearts pouring through the kisses now, touching soul to soul for a minute then parting, "My One, too."

"It's ready when you are." The man said as he knocked on the door and left now. They smiled and held hands now, going to the altar to stand under an arch of fake white roses now. They removed Dean's ring and Sam's bracelet now and waited, twirling them nervously and paused.

"Hold on, please." Dean said and took the phone again, calling Bobby. "You almost here _yet?_ Where's _Dad?"_

"We're right outside. We're coming in now. Sorry, we had to stop for gas. You're lucky he was at my house when you called." Bobby grumbled and smiled as he spotted them now; so _handsome_ on the stage. "Here's the papers." He gave them the papers for Dean now.

They stepped down to talk privately with both of their fathers now. "You're _sure _we're _not _related? We'll use the fake ID's if we _have_ to… Is he okay with this?"

"He's a little freaked but, _yeah_, he's dealing." Bobby whispered and John was suddenly there, eyeing them nervously, licking a lip and Bobby had to smile; Dean and Sam had the same habit! It _must_ be genetic.

"I can't say I agree with your decisions and that the gay thing doesn't creep me out but you said I had to accept it or you would leave me forever. I can't say I won't be freaked for a while but…I won't lose you and I already lost your Mom. I don't suppose you'd _wait?_ Let me get used to it more?" John wheedled and their eyes hardened. He cringed now.

"If you don't like it, you can leave." Dean said coldly. "I love him and, even if we _were _related, we'd have done this. So suck it up and love us _anyway_ or get the fuck _out _of our lives! Those are the only choices! I don't care if others approve and you _know _that. He's the one I want and, surprisingly, he wants the same with me. You can _leave_ if you don't like it!"

John stalked out to think and Dean watched him go with a hurt but angry expression. He hardened his jaw and took Sam's hand, wiping an errant tear away in anger. He hadn't expected to cry, _damn _it! If Dad couldn't accept them, he could go _fuck _himself! "Come on, Sam. We got a wedding to do." Sam eyed Bobby with regret and Bobby nodded, sighing in frustration. Sam still let Dean lead him to Altar again; sadness filling his heart but happiness, too.

He'd miss Dad in their lives after this but it wasn't enough to keep him from being happy with Dean; nothing could take that away and they _both _knew it!

Bobby headed outside and grabbed John, making him look at him now. "John, I have _bit _my tongue so far and the fucker is _bloody_! But _you_ don't seem to be getting it so I'll _spit_ it out. You will _lose_ them if you don't get in there right _now_ and give _up _the son _crap!_ They _are_ doing this and they will cut you out of their lives if you reject them this way. I, for one, am going in there and supporting them; I will _not_ lose them over moral _shit_ and what others will _think!_ You _can_ but you'll regret it the rest of your life. _Could _you live with _that?_" He sighed as the music played again and went to go in.

He heard John fall in step with him now and hoped for the best.

"_No_, _won't_ lose them." John said unhappily and then shut up. They ran in and stood by the stage to witness the marriage now. The boys eyed their Dad with sad eyes and John looked ashamed of himself under those gazes. "Can we start over?" He asked and prayed they could.

"Yes." Dean said smiling softly now and John smiled back, hugging them now and crying.

"I'm sorry. I can't lose you!" John said and they took turns hugging him and wiping his tears away. "Could I give Sam away, as his Dad?" He looked up and the owner nodded. Dean took his place again and handed Bobby the ring and bracelet and Bobby nodded; he _was_ best man. He could do this part.

Sam and John went to the end of the aisle, and he hugged him again, "You two, be good to each other, okay? Protect each other?" John asked and Sam nodded, happier now.

"Thanks for not leaving." Sam whispered, "I still love you, Dad, still need you in my life. He does, too. He just too pissed off and stubborn to admit it. You really hurt us when you said what you did earlier. We're gay_, sure_, but is it _really_ that _bad _to have us this way?"

"No, I…I was never against it but you are _sons_, blood or not. It does freak me out a little here. Okay, _a lot_. But I'll get used to it. Don't leave me. I may be freaked but I still love you boys." John admitted, "I had no right to say that before."

"No, you didn't but I forgive you. Give him time; he will, too." Sam said happily and kissed his cheek. "Dean's waiting. Let's get up there." John nodded and they headed up the aisle again. This time John put Sam's hand on Dean's and watched them intertwine now. He went to stand on the other side of Sam now, as his Groom's man now.

The vows were soon done and john eyed the bracelet and ring. He added his own wedding band to it; with the bracelet and Dean shot him a surprised look. John just smiled and nodded, "I love you, son."

"Love you, too, Dad." Dean said softly and sighed as Sam tied his bracelet onto him then slipping John's ring onto him, as well. Dean slipped his silver ring onto Sam's finger, shaking nervously and sucking a lip a little, tongue licking it afterward, then smiling in relief when they were pronounced husbands now. He kissed Sam hard now and they parted breathlessly, anticipation of what followed making them eager to move onto the honeymoon part now. "Um, you got rooms anywhere?"

"Yeah, the Casablanca Hotel. The guy said that was where your room was. So we checked in there on the way here." Bobby said and they nodded. "Can we have dinner with you before you have the honeymoon? The package includes that and it covers the four of us."

"Sounds good." Sam said hugging the red haired man and Bobby chuckled. "Thanks for coming to the ceremony. You could have disowned us, we know that."

"Never would disown you, you _idjits!_ Might get annoyed and confused but _never_ that." Bobby reassured him and gave John a look.

"I would never have stayed gone or…You're all I got left, _damn_ it! I'd have come back." John admitted and pain filled his eyes at their response.

"We would _never_ have let you back into our lives if you'd have left. We could never trust you again if you _had._" Dean said and John flinched but stood his ground.

"I'm sorry, I…I was an ass." John said and Dean hugged him now.

"It's okay now, and you're trying. I know it's not easy for you but you are trying and we respect that. We just hope you can accept us fully someday, because we're gay and we're _together._ You _have_ to accept that!" Dean pleaded. "Don't want to hate you, Dad."

"I don't want you to either." John said sadly, "I won't lose you over stupid shit."

"Good." Dean said sighing, "I'm hungry, let's get that dinner now." He took Sam's hand and they headed out now. John and Bobby followed. But Bobby could feel the storm brewing between them as they spoke, and he prayed it would pass over them but knew it probably wouldn't. But it still didn't stop him from hoping it would any way.

"They look good together." John admitted, "They look happier than I've ever seen them this way." He had to admit they were better off this way and _safer_. "Think they'd let me hunt with them again now?"

"I bet they would, if you asked." Bobby said and smiled now as they kissed in the car, "They are going to put bunnies to shame now; you know that, _right?"_ Bobby groaned in despair now. "I have a surprise for you guys at dinner."

"Oh, you do?" John said and Bobby nodded,

"Let's go, Father-in-Law. Your sons are waiting." Bobby said and they drove back to the hotel now.

Dinner was comped, of course. Steak for them, Chicken salad and beer for Sam. Bobby tapped his bottle with a spoon now and they looked at him to listen. "I have here three keys. To my house. They are for you three. You can consider my house your Home now. You can hunt whenever you want but no more living out of that _car,_ you _live _with _me_. I _insist_." Bobby said and tossed them a key each now. Holding up a hand to still their protests. "You are my family; you have been since I met you as kids. You belong with me there. I love you guys. So don't say no; just take the _damn _keys!" He growled then smiled as they did as he said now. "You have a Home now; always had one there _really_."

"Thanks, Bobby." John said and the boys echoed him as well. "We like it there, too."

"You better, you _stubborn_ asses. Living out of _cars_ and _trucks_, as if I'd tolerate _that_ for _my_ family! Stick around. It wouldn't _kill_ you." Bobby said and got smiles all around now.

"Love you, Bobby." The boys said in turns and hugged him harder now, smiling widely. And John felt jealousy slip in. They loved that man, maybe even _more_ than him and he _saw_ it. John had made it this way, being _gone_ too much, not being around to love, not accepting them enough, and seeing how much it had cost him. It had cost him most of his sons' love and it killed him to know it now. He swore to fix it and knew just how.

"Let me hunt with you." John said and they turned to look at him in surprise. "I wasn't around enough and I know that. I lost your love and trust because of that. No, don't disagree. I know better. I just saw it, _damn_ it!" He growled and paused to explain, "You love _him_ more than _me_ and I don't blame you or him for that. I was a bad _father_ and I realize _that_. I want a chance to make it up to you, earn your love and trust back, and hope you love me as much as you love Bobby… _someday_. _Please_ let me hunt with you, be there more than I was before. I love you and I'm not mad! I caused this to happen and…I want loved as much as him someday…_again_."

"Dad, we do love you!" Dean protested but knew deep down John was right. They did love Bobby more, and John had been gone most of their childhood and chasing the fucking _demon!_ They did resent that and had turned to Bobby when John's love had failed them.

"But not as much as _him!_ I am your _father!_ I should be loved _more_, not _him_." John spat furiously, and they flinched from his rage now. "I deserve this, I know that. You don't think I do?" He looked at them with softening eyes now though, "I want my place _back!_ I _want_ to be your father _again!"_

"Then hunt with us." Sam soothed, "We'll let you be our Dad, but…you aren't going to go off and chase him again, are you?" Sam worried, "It's true. We do love him more. And, _Yes,_ _you_ could have done _more_. But you _are_ our Dad, and that has _never _changed for us. But…you can't just step into the _middle_ of our lives and expect us to just say, yeah, we _love_ you more than the one man who has always been there for us! You _forgot_ us! _We_ were _last_ place to a damn _demon _hunt! Dean raised _me_! He was _more_ of a father than you _ever_ were! So, yeah, you lost your _place_ and it's no one's _fault_ but your _own_. Bobby was there for us and you _weren't!_ So don't be _that_ way. We'll give this a shot, but you fuck it up and it won't just be our love you lose again; it will be _us!_ We will_ not _take _second _place to that yellow-eyed _bastard!_ We were your _sons _and we were more _important!_" Sam stood now and went to leave, "This is your own _damn_ fault and _fuck_ you if it hurts _you_. It _should!_ It hurt _us,_ too! You put us second _again_ and you can kiss our asses goodbye forever!" He left now and John grabbed for him and Sam punched him…_hard_, knocking him to ground, his hazel eyes blazing, "We deserved _better!"_

Then he was out the door with Dean at his heels.

"I…" John said and brushed off Bobby's help getting up. "I earned _that_…and more." John sighed and watched helplessly as his retreating sons. "Do I even stand a _chance?"_

"Yes, if you stick with it." Bobby said softly and sighed, "I loved them from the time I saw them; adopted them instantly. Adopted _you_, too. They _needed _you and you were _never _there. I _was_. I won't apologize for that because I'm _not_ sorry. They needed _me _and I couldn't _not_ need and love them back_._ I didn't mean for them to love me more; that was _your_ fault! But if you don't follow _them_ and keep _trying_, you will _never _get their love back."

John wiped the blood from his lip and sighed, proud of Sam for what he'd said and done, standing up for them in ways he never had. He had put the demon hunt ahead of being there for them. He followed them now and found them sitting by a lighted fountain. Watching it go up and down as Dean held a crying Sam in his arms. He gave John a hard look and seethed, "If you don't _fix_ this…"

"I will, right _now._" John said and knelt by them now. "I love you, Sam, Dean, too. I'm _really_ sorry. And I will make it up to you. Please try to forgive me, _please?"_ He took a stiffening Sam in his arms and hugged him now. "I love you, I _do_. I love _you!_"

Sam sniffled now and touched John's bleeding lip. "Sorry." Sam sighed, "I just lost my temper." He nodded and sat up now, wiping the tears away, "We never meant to love him more; it just happened."

"I know. It's my own damn fault. That's why I want to hunt with you two. I just want to show you I'm there for you now, make it up to you." John said and Sam nodded, knowing this already.

"I'm afraid you'll take off again as soon as _it _shows up. Chasing it again _without _us." Sam said, "We're your sons and we're _mor_e important! He could have _killed _you and we _never_ would have known it!"

"I know that now. We'll chase him down and kill him together. _Promise_. I won't leave you that way again." John promised and meant every word. Sure, they were each other's greatest weaknesses; but they were also stronger together. Apart, the fucker just got to kill them faster… and _easier_, too! It was why the boys had survived this long, those sons of his. And maybe if they were together they could _finally_ kill the bastard. "I will stick around this time, I _swear!"_

"Okay, I'll try." Sam said and sighed, hugging him now. "Still my Dad, too. You just have to share us with Bobby; that will _never_ change. You _have _to accept that."

"I know." John said and smiled anyway, He could share them, as long as they learned to love him again, too. "And I've already accepted that. Sorry I said it that way. I lost my temper, too."

"Such a lovely Winchester trait, isn't it?" Dean said and they all nodded, smiling a little now. "Still want to hunt with us?"

"Yes." John said and they smiled wider.

"Good, cause we have a dinner to finish and I have to make love to my husband sometime tonight. He's still a virgin, you know." Dean winked at Sam and kissed his hard again. "I love you. You're _my_ Sammy now!"

"Yes, I am." Sam said happily and cuddled closer, kissing him as well, "Still hungry though."

"Well, let's go eat then." Dean said and tugged Sam along again, John behind them. John smiled easier now and soon they rejoined Bobby and had a better dinner together now. Then the men gambled and the husbands retired to their room where Dean fully intended to deflower his sexy husband…_finally!_

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Go on all fours, baby. It will be easier for the first time, _okay?_" Dean urged later on, after they had kissed and undressed their way to the bed, kissing Sam's neck and body, touching each other lovingly now. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Okay. I get to make love to you, too? After this?" Sam asked and Dean nodded. Sam went on all fours now.

"Watch in the mirrors, baby. You can see what I'm doing in them." Dean advised and Sam noticed the walls and ceiling were nothing but mirrors. He found the sight of them in those mirrors more of a turn on now, too. _Damn_, they looked sexy together!

"We look sexy this way." Sam said and Dean looked, too.

"Yeah, we _do!"_ Dean agreed, "My _sexy_ Sammy!" He purred into Sam's back as he kissed down it, and moved to his ass, where he let his mouth work him open, his tongue licking around Sam's hole and then into it until Sam arched in pleasure from it, "You liked that, _huh?_"

"_Yeah!"_ Sam said happily and grinned, "So doing it to _you _later!"

"I sure _hope_ so." Dean agreed and used lube on some fingers and worked them into Sam one at a time now. "This will hurt a little but I'll be gentle. Just try to relax. It will burn some but it will feel good soon, _promise_. Just relax for me, _please,_ baby?" He urged and Sam nodded, feeling the slight pain then the burn, and soon such pleasure hit Sam that he nearly fell off the bed as he arched up from it! "That's your pleasure spot, we all got one. When you hit it, the person explodes with pleasure. You'll have to find mine like I did yours. But just go to the back and find that ball of nerves; that's the spot you want."

"_Okay._" Sam moaned, remembering that spot for later.

"I'm going to enter you now. It will feel fuller but you relax and I can work into you. It will stretch and hurt a little then burn again but, once it fades, it will feel good. You ready?" Dean said and Sam nodded nervously up at him. "I won't hurt you too much. It's just for a minute, I _swear_. You tell me when to move when it's time and I will. We'll take this slow, baby; we got all night."

"Thanks, I appreciate that." Sam said and whimpered a little as Dean worked the head of his dick into him now and stopped. "Just the head, baby." Dean soothed him, running a hand along his back as he moved into him, kissing his back softly as he did so. "Relax. I promise it _will_ feel good once I'm in. Stroke yourself; it _will_ help."

Dean watched Sam work himself now and then found it easier to move in as Sam got lost in his pleasure from it and just relaxed into how good it felt, but still hurt some, too. Then Sam felt the burn and soon Dean was all in, only making tiny movements and then Dean asked, "It still hurt or burn? You have to _tell_ me, Sam."

"Burns some but doesn't hurt any more. It's starting to feel good though. Move a little, _please."_ Sam said and Dean did, finding his spot again and brushing it softly, making Sam gasp that it felt _reall_y good now. "_More!_" He cried out as Dean hit it again and again now. Going slow, though.

"I have to be careful, baby. I go too rough, I could hurt you. I'll get faster soon; don't rush this. I want to please you, Sammy. _Let _me, okay? You _trust_ me, right?" Dean asked and kissed Sam's back again. Sam moaned while he did. "Sit up more, lean back against me so I can work your body better. Plus you look so sexy in that mirror. Watch me make love to you, baby…" Dean said and Sam sat up more, and fell back against him now. Dean's hands stroked and rolled Sam's nipples as he deliberately took him slow but deep now, in and out in hard and fast thrusts as well. Sam moaned hard again and got louder as Dean's other hand took his dick in it now and stroked it firmly in time with his thrusts now. "Ready for faster?"

"Yes!" Sam moaned and Dean went faster, but not too fast, not ready to rush it and make them cum yet. Dean wanted to make this last, such exquisite pleasure was inside him now! Sam so _warm_ and wrapped so tightly around him now and finding it hard to keep the slowed down movements now. "Harder, faster, _please!"_ Sam begged and Dean obeyed and then let Sam dictate their movements now.

"You're in charge, baby. Tell me want you want; _tell_ me!" Dean moaned and, for the next half hour, Sam begged him to go faster and work his body more now. Sam cried out louder in pleasure as Dean bit along his shoulder and kissed them, up to his ear and neck the same way, along his jaw and ended up kissing him harder and more urgent now, as their bodies got lives of their own and just moved together much harder and deeper now.

Both moaned and felt their orgasms fill them and nearly screamed as they came together, both struggling to breathe as the orgasms shot through them over and over leaving them moaning even louder through the mini-orgasms that followed the more intense ones. Dean gently pulled out of Sam and got a cloth to clean them off.

They cuddled and kissed now, not in a rush to do more yet. "Did that feel good, Sam?"

"Yes, it felt _amazing_! Never came so _hard_ before. So much more pleasurable than I _ever_ thought it would be." Sam said and kissed him, "Thank you for making this so good for me, Dean."

"I wanted to please you, Sam. I want to please you from now on. You say what you want and I'll try to get it for you. I'd kill for you, if you would just ask me to. No questions asked." Dean vowed, "I love you so much, Sammy! _My_ Husband!"

"Mmmm, I like that part, _too._" Sam said happily, getting tired now. "Can I nap before I make love to you? I'm suddenly tired, baby. Can we just cuddle some more?" He didn't want Dean to think he didn't desire him; he just needed a nap. "_Still_ desire you, baby!"

"Desire you, too, Sammy! _Alway_s will." Dean said and cuddled him into him more now. "Sleep, baby boy, I got _you_. Never letting you go. I'm yours, _too._ Sex or no sex."

"_Mine_…" Sam said as he slept now and Dean smiled, as he got tired, too. "You are mine, _too."_

They slept now and, in the morning, Dean was made love to and Sam made him feel just as good as Dean had made him feel, _minus_ the nap. They cuddled and smiled happily again, "I loved that, Sammy! You feel so good inside me. Let me make love to you again, and I'll have you make love to me, too?" Dean smiled as he kissed Sam softly now. "_So_ worth _keeping_ you from that _idiot_ you almost slept with."

"Yeah, it was." Sam smiled then stroked Dean hard for him now, both already energized for more. "Fuck me, baby. Take me again." Sam sucked his ear and yelped in surprise as Dean flipped him to his back and thrust in again, making him spiral immediately in pleasure once more. Their bodies moved together harder and harder as they made love again and _again_ until they fell spent to the bed.

Then they cuddled for a few minutes before Sam was sucked hard by Dean then lay on top of him as well, thrusting into Dean again and making love to him as well. "Sammy!" Dean moaned, "Feel so _good…_so huge!..._more_…give me _more!_" Dean's head fell back as ecstasy shot through him like a million lasers and Sam was being shot with him, going harder and deeper. Faster and moans soon became cries and then screams as they came an hour later and Dean begged him to do it again, not letting him pull out but working Sam hard again and losing himself to their lovemaking over and over until he came one last time, hands clawing and grabbing Sam's back and thighs, bodies pounding together for hours now, unable to stop even if the place had burned down around them.

Sam sucked and kissed along Dean's body as he arched up into Sam's dick and mouth, writhing together more and more until they both came again and passed out on top of each other; Sam still inside Dean and neither noticing. They had made love until they were unconscious and that was no small feat for them.

They woke up the next afternoon and got dressed, both soaking in their hot sauna tub for an hour and feeling the aches and soreness vanish for the most part now. Then headed to find their fathers, who both had no trouble believing they had just made love for almost twenty-four hours straight but _still_ kept making 'Nymphos' and 'Putting Bunnies to Shame' remarks and teasing them for hours afterward.

Both men just smiled proudly and grinned and laughed with their fathers because they were right. They really _had_ put bunnies to _shame_ and seeing as the need for each other that way was only getting stronger now, that probably _did _make them Nymphos. So they just agreed and let it happen; being happy to finally be _together_ now!

Xxxxxxxxxx

Months passed and they hunted with their Dad.

And then the demon found them.

And Dean was forced to reveal an awful truth he had sworn to never tell anyone.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The demon taunted them that it would go after their friends, starting with Bobby. They seriously doubted the bitch would get in but it would be fun to see her die trying. Unfortunately the plan went pear shaped when she snagged John at the last minute, figuring out their plan like the fucking bitch she _really_ was.

"Bobby, anything?" Dean asked frantic as they sped toward John's last rendezvous with the bitch. Hoping for some clue of where she had spirited him to.

"Not really. Omens are heavy where you're headed though. My money's on him being there still." Bobby said worried. "It's been two days, have you idjits got any sleep?" He suspected they hadn't and they'd lie.

"Some, here and there." Dean said lied. They hadn't slept at all and were _exhausted _but they weren't telling him that. He was a worry wart at the moment. He'd hoard the information to force them to rest and they didn't have time for that right now. They'd sleep when they got Dad back, maybe after killing the fucking Demon, too; if they had their heart's fondest wish at the moment, and Meg, too. If they were _really_ lucky, too.

"Liar." Bobby grumbled. But groaned softly, "Where are you at?"

Dean sighed, "Still in town, going to check out the building he was at. We hope there's some clues there."

"You got a room or living out of your damn car again?" Bobby asked suspecting this answer, too.

"Ran out of cash two days ago. We've been sleeping in the car since. We _won't_ leave until we find him." Dean growled.

"There a place you can stop nearby?" Bobby asked and waited.

"Yeah, a gas station. Why?" Dean asked suspiciously.

"Stop, get the address. _Now_, damn it!" Bobby demanded and Dean cringed at the order in that tone.

Dean sighed and did as he was told. Sam ran in and got the address now. "647 Sycamore Road." Dean groaned, "We got this, Bobby."

"Now see _here_, you are my family and I'll be damned if you get to stay there hanging around and possibly dying badly at the hands of the thing that killed everyone you dared to love! I am _coming_ and you _will_ wait, and we'll find him _together!_ So don't leave or you will feel my boot so far up your ass, Sam will feel it in the _other_ room!" Bobby shouted and they promised they would.

An hour later, he pulled up and saw just how exhausted they were but wisely kept silent. "Let's go check that building." Now they sped there and found an empty building, and a flyer for some apartment on a floor. "Well, I smell trap." Bobby drawled. His eyes were steady and he was ready to just _end_ this shit!

"Well, you know what we do with traps." Dean said softly and smiled coldly.

"What's that?" Bobby said and knew the answer, following at their heels.

"We spring them." Dean growled. And Bobby had to admit that was the answer he'd expected and Dean was right. Trap or no trap, John was there and they had to try to save him.

They surveyed the place and sighed. Demons everywhere, and _everyone _was possessed, for the most part. So they decided on subtle. They called in a fire and started one, setting off every alarm in the building. A small one but enough to get the demons' attention. Then snagged a few fire men suits and broke in, using their noses to guide them, the sulfur stronger in one place and they headed there. They managed to kill the demons inside and grabbed John, and Bobby tested holy water on him but got nothing. But Dean got smarter. He poured some down Its throat when John was tied to a chair inside a trap. Colt to his head. Bobby shot Meg as she lunged at them and smiled as she screamed and did the whole burn up from the inside thing.

John screamed and the demon's voice came out now. "Smart boy, gotta give you an A for this one. Most wouldn't consider the drinking thing."

"Yeah, we're special that way." Dean hissed and smiled. "We found _you_…"

"Yeah, but you can't kill me without killing _Daddy_…" The demon taunted them. Laughing in their father's voice, "Such _queer_ boys!" They flinched but hid it well.

"You forget one thing." Bobby said approaching the demon with the Colt. The boys hadn't been sure how to use it without killing John but Bobby had an idea. First he looked for binding marks; none were there. "We can just _wound_ him, but it can still _kill _you."

The demon appeared afraid now and eyed the gun uncertainly.

"I'm counting to five." Bobby said softly and began to count, moving the gun closer to his leg, preparing to fire it. The demon glared, growled and smoked out now, leaving John gasping in his chair as they rushed to untie him. The boys hugged him and cried but helped him up, helping him to the Impala, Bobby following in the truck.

Then a rig slammed into them after it chased them and they had to fight the demon to keep it from killing them. The car flipped and they clung to roof as best they could until it stopped, they were battered and hurt but not too badly, thank goodness. They had braced for the roll or it could have killed them! The possessed man headed to the car to finish them off and got a gun to his face for his troubles.

"That bullet isn't meant for me." It taunted.

"Ask us if we care." Sam said, struggling to see through the blood over one eye and the blurry vision in the other. He strongly suspected he had a concussion. He had two bullets left; he'd spare one on this one if it hurt his family anymore than they were. The demon stared for a minute then Sam cocked the gun, aiming at its heart. It smoked out now and soon they were faced with a confused trucker that immediately called 911 and they groaned. Bobby stayed back and kept an eye on them, and watched the ambulance carry them away, and he towed the car to a motel and paid for a week. Then drove straight to the hospital to check on them.

Sure enough, their injuries were mild but John had a plan, eyeing the fake Colt and the real one. They all whispered it to each other and agreed it could work. The yellow-eyed bastard was just arrogant enough to go for it, too. So they set it in motion.

Dean pretended to be dying. Sam played the grieving husband worried and trying anything to save him.

And the older hunters set up the honey pot, hoping it would work; this was their last good shot at the bastard and they didn't want to waste it. John set the summoning spell, put the fake Colt in his waistband and got his most defiant, yet desperate look on his face while Bobby hid behind some supply boxes with the real one, all cocked and ready.

Then John summoned him and prayed it would work. Every inch of the floor was covered in ultraviolet painted Devil's traps, just in case.

Yellow eyes looked around the room and saw nothing but John in the middle looking desperate and trying to put on a defiant front. Azazel found this attractive and figured he'd be fun to break later. John let him think it. He got caught in the first trap, taunted John and broke it, then another, and another, until he was at the summoning mark and right in Bobby's line of fire.

He taunted John and John caved, begging him to save Dean, he wanted a deal and then the demon got in perfect position, and began to tell him how Dean was at Death's door. Their lovely plan still in place and working perfectly. Dean was going to have such a big head after this, the _smug _thing! Bobby shot the bastard in the chest and he turned into a human Chinese lantern, burning up from the inside. They cleaned up then and headed back up to Dean's room, where the big fakers were milking their act for all it was worth.

"And the academy award goes to…_us!_" Bobby came in grinning.

"Nah, we got this one, right, baby?" Sam teased and flinched when he moved too fast, getting dizzy then counting to ten with his eyes shut to get his balance back and pushed the pain back, then opened them and was fine. "I'm good, just concussed. Balance is fine again, don't worry. No sudden movements, I forgot for a second, sorry."

"Yeah, know the feeling." Dean said and fell back on the pillows, too. "Not moving for a bit. You can keep the award, I'll settle for the vertigo to stop spinning me like a fucking psychotic top!" He sighed and took Sam's hand, "You okay, baby?"

"Fine, unless I move my head. The psychotic top is _spinning_ and needs to stop." Sam bitched lay his head on Dean's leg. "Fuck, so tired, how much longer until we can sleep again?"

"Ten hours and twelve minutes." John recited by looking at his watch, he had the damn alarm _set_. When it went off he was going to sleep for two days, maybe three, depending on his mood really. They helped Dean up and they snuck out, and Bobby drove them Home with him towing the totaled Impala behind it.

And exactly ten hours and twelve minutes later, all three Winchesters collapsed into their beds and proceeded to sleep for three days straight and never once stirred to the whole time. Bobby checked on them every once in a while to make sure they were okay. Then he let them sleep, they'd earned it.

They were free of the demon and his family was safe now.

And always would be, at least from that yellow-eyed bastard. And, to a much lesser and much happier extent, Meg, too.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

They hunted again and found the Wendigo.

They got tossed a bit but burned it, saving the kids from it and getting bruised for their troubles. John had a dislocated shoulder and Dean had a sprained wrist. Sam had several cracked ribs, too. All hurt all over by managed to get Home to be patched up.

"Fucker was _quick!_" Sam gasped and spat some blood into a cup, a smaller amount now. "Blood is less now, that's good."

"Where did it come from? That last attack was from out of nowhere!" Dean hissed as he bumped his hand now," Dean dropped his pills into his mouth and drank a gulp of water and waited for the pain to die down for him. "We have to get creative on the sex, baby."

"Yeah, _what _sex?" Sam moaned as it hurt to breathe for now. "You aren't touching _me_ for now. My ribs couldn't take it."

"We could improvise…" Dean hinted and crawled down Sam's body, keeping his hurt wrist elevated as they worked into a 69 position and had worked the others pants down to where they could suck each other, "Can we try?" Dean asked, "We haven't done shit for _days_ now and I need some release here! We can be careful, please?"

"Okay, lower your hips a little. I can't lift at the moment." Sam sighed and opened his mouth, "You have to do most of the work and fuck my mouth, but I can suck that way." Dean used one hand to work him and elbows to support his weight, too. Dean began to suck him now and felt Sam tensing and pulled off, fucking his mouth hard now and cumming hard as Sam sucked him harder and harder at the same time and Dean came screaming and did it until he could stop.

"Your turn." Dean said and thrust into Sam, after working in more first and taking him gently until Dean moved slowly in and out of him until Sam came hard for him then sucked him hard again, and Dean rode him so Sam could fuck him, too. He used one hand to balance on one of Sam's knees and came as Sam stroked him even as he made Sam cum with him. Then he cuddled up to Sam and lay a head on Sam's shoulder, hand curled against his hip. "That was fun! Injured Sex isn't too bad, eh, baby?"

"No, not too bad. Chest hurts again but nothing I can't handle. It'll ease up soon, by morning I hope. As long as I didn't move too much. I'll be fine and get wrapped when I wake up. Sleep, Baby, you pleased me a lot tonight. Damn hunt took too long, and took _forever_ to track, who knew there were that many caves in Oreion, Washington? Thought we'd _never _find its lair!" Sam swore they'd hit twenty caves before they finally hit the jackpot and the Wendigo had proven quicker than most of the ones they had fought before, and _stronger_, too. It taken two flares to get it to burn all the way through; _really_ tough bastard!

Now they just wanted to sleep and closed their eyes as their pain meds knocked them out; clutching each other as carefully as they could, and soon felt no pain.

And prayed for time to heal up before the next hunt.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was winter now and snow fell outside the window of their room and Sam cuddled him on couch as they sipped their eggnog. John agreed it needed more egg and resolved to make the next batch; this stuff was just rank!

"Dean, what was your first time like?" Sam asked and Dean looked away, hiding his face. "Did it hurt like it did me?"

Dean was quiet for a long time and even John could tell it was bad when he did this. "Dean, tell us, we won't judge you."

Dean still said nothing but cried a little now. "It hurt more." He said in a soft whisper. Knowing they wanted to know but _not _wanting to tell.

An idea hit John and Sam at the same time now, an _awful _one. "It was rape, wasn't it? The alley thing?"

"Not an alley. I _lied_." Dean admitted softly, "It was worse than that."

"Dean…" Sam said, wiping his tears away, "What happened to you?"

"You don't want to know, either of you. _Don't_ ask!" Dean said and they shook their heads in defiance.

"We _do!"_ Sam urged, "_Please _tell us!"

"There was no alley rape. It was a damn _spell!_" Dean said, looking down and refusing to look up now. "Dad, you remember when I hunted with Caleb but suddenly stopped?"

"Yeah, it was right _after_…_Dean_, what _really_ happened?" John said and Dean nodded. Dad had a right to know. Sam, too. It just hurt to talk about.

"We were hunting a witch, Caleb and I. I went get supplies and Caleb got antsy, guess he didn't want me hurt. So he went alone, killed her and got hurt…and cursed, a lust spell from _Hell!_ He called me and I came to get him. I didn't realize there was a spell on him at first, but…when I fixed his shoulder…he pinned me below him. He pulled my clothes off and threw my weapons away! Then he kept saying he'd make it feel good and I begged him to stop. I screamed for him to, but it was that remote cabin he owned and we were _alone_…" Dean cried and they rocked him until he could speak again. "He just didn't listen; the spell had taken his mind and left nothing but lust, no humanity to speak of…I never blamed him and you can't _either!_ He had no control but…He just…" Dean got quiet here and looked down again. "He thrust in and it was like he _ripping_ me apart! Then he just got rougher and rougher…then he kept going until I gave up fighting and began to…cum unwillingly and then he kissed me, said he knew I'd enjoy it…I was so _ashamed_ and he kept taking me and it never stopped hurting and I was bleeding and sore, and it _never_ stopped, until the spell ended and Caleb passed out from it. Then I snuck out."

He sobbed now and John looked furious!

"I went to the hospital and called you Dad. Then I must have passed out on the concrete by the door. I woke up to you and Caleb, and I screamed in terror of him. I lied and said I was just freaked and couldn't bear being touched, which was true though. I just hated him touching me more, even though he didn't remember anything he'd done under the spell and I knew that meant it wasn't his fault. I blamed the witch but...l still woke up screaming for days after that, feeling his hands holding me down, his body inside me, and I…just _couldn't_ be around him after that. Still can't, to be honest." Dean said in shame and they reassured him that was natural and they had him. He leaned into Sam's arms and was tightly held to him now. Sam's worried eyes on his hurting husband as Dean spoke again. "I never got past that with him. He asked why I hated him. I said I didn't, but…I _did_, sort of. He asked what was wrong and what wasn't I telling him, and he figured out it had something to do with his missing two days of memory, too. I refused to tell him or you. Fucking _Witch_, that fucking _spell!_!" He swore hatefully and sighed, "I didn't know it but that was when I began to…like _men._ It was like poison, that moment in time! A year later, I met this guy, Greg, or was it George? it had a G in there somewhere….He looked so much like Sam did when we snuck peeks on him at Stanford and I missed Sam badly by then, and we…we had sex and it felt okay, good even but then…he left after and I was all used up. I whored around after that, always with men that reminded me of Sam. Lost count of them, had women, too. Got lost in the sex and I missed him more with every encounter." Dean admitted. "Did some gangbangs, got banged like a drum, lost myself in drinking and hunting and killing any Evil thing I could, tried suicide by hunting; hated myself so much I wanted to die."

Both his Dad and husband broke under this confession and he shushed them with a hand.

"I said you didn't want to know!" He said hard eyed, "Now let me _finish!_" He kissed Sam and hugged Dad now, smiling gentler now, "It gets better now."

"Oh." Sam blushed as he recalled where this was going. Dad let Dean talk but took his hand to comfort him now.

"You vanished and I couldn't find you. You weren't answering your phone, and Bobby didn't even know where you were. I couldn't call Caleb, still hated even the sound of his voice." Dean admitted, "So I went to the one person I knew I could count on. Sam. And I broke into his house, we fought, and he pinned me. Then I told him you were missing and we went to find you. Then he wanted to go back and Jess burned up; I barely got him out in time. Then I realized him staying in that building was his version of suicide just as much as my _'suicide by hunting'_ wish. So I decided as long as I had him with me, I could make it now. I didn't _hurt _with him, and he made me feel _safe _and _needed_. Sure, we argued and had our issues, but he grounded me and I grounded him. He held me when I had my nightmares and screamed and I held him through his. Until they _both _stopped and we healed together. Sam always healed my pain and I always figured out how to fix his, it was our way; even you couldn't fight that. I had no right to make you think you could but you shouldn't have given up on trying…Dad. We still had plenty of love left for you." Dean reassured him and John smiled sadly.

"Sam was only attracted to men who resembled me and I always ended up with men who resembled him. We figured this out before when we decided to get married. We always only looked for each other, only loved each other more than anyone else. So, yeah, this is strange for you, Dad, but it's what we've always been heading toward; all our lives." Dean said and John nodded, he got it now and it made it easier to accept as he did. "My first time was Hell on Earth for me, but I don't count that now. My true first time, the only one that really mattered to me, was when you made love to me in Vegas, Sam. I choose that for my first time now; _not_ that spell induced _Hell!_ _You_ were my first and I want to believe that. It was the first time I ever knew and felt love with anyone. In bed. It wasn't just sex and using others and them using me: it was pure and good. It was making love and sharing hearts and souls, I was kept and _loved_, but not _rejected _ever again." Dean kissed his husband now and smiled, his pain fading away to its hidey hole once again, "You were my first, baby, too, and I love you for it!"

"Yes, I was your first. I'll be that!" Sam said happily and cuddled him closer, "I love you, Dean. Never letting you be hurt again!" Sam said protectively and Dean snuggled in closer, "Merry Christmas, baby. Open this, okay?" Sam handed him a newspaper wrapped package now and Dean took it, smiling at him then opened it.

"It took forever to pay off." Sam admitted blushing happily at his expression.

It was a pentagram with a diamond in the center with black stones on each corner of the star; the chain was heavy silver, thick and braided and long enough to hide under a shirt, like he wore the amulet. "For protection." Sam said softly and Dean kissed him, handing him a gift, too.

"I made it myself." Dean said blushing, too.

It was a silver ring with small metal pieces of different colors melted into it. "Read inside it." Dean urged happily.

"To my Sammy, Love you forever!" It said and it was carved and burned in with a wand tool. Sam teared up and let him slip it over his wedding band.

"You are my _Sammy_." Dean announced happily and Sam said he was _his_ Dean. And John was happy for them, not unaccepting; he hadn't been for months now. "Dad, why don't you date?" Dean asked and John shrugged.

"Too busy." John said and they gave him a look. "Fine, I haven't found anyone to interest me, you _happy?_"

"No, we want you to find someone and be happy…like we are." Dean urged and John looked sad, "You shouldn't be alone so much."

"I do fine." John reassured them.

"No, you are alone _all_ the time, you never bring anyone to the room, and you never show _any_ interest in anyone! That is _not_ fine." Sam pointed out, "We don't want you to die alone and unloved. Well, not unloved by us, but a woman or a guy, or someone else; not just us! Don't you ever want someone around besides _us?_"

"No, I'm…I…" John stumbled, "I like being alone."

"_No one_ likes being alone." Dean said sarcastically, "That's just an excuse and you _know_ it."

"I…I haven't been with anyone since this one lady and she dumped me when she found out I was a hunter. She said I was a monster and a killer. Said she'd call the cops on me if I didn't leave." John said, "I haven't been with anyone since. I'm not a one night stand kind of guy and I can't let anyone close like that again; most don't get what we do."

"Another hunter maybe…that Ellen? She liked you before." Dean hinted and John blushed.

"Her husband died a couple years ago. A werewolf got him and his partner. I tried to save them but I got there too late. They called me in too late. She blamed me at first but then forgave me, admitted they should have called me sooner. I was grateful she forgave me but…I guess I stayed away because I was afraid she might not have fully forgiven me at all." John admitted. He did have feelings for her but there was always that niggling doubt that she might say no if he asked her out; so he'd said nothing.

"You should call her; ask. She can only say no." Dean urged some more and John sighed.

"I will call her if you two promise to stop pushing me to date so much." John said and they shook his hand, both pleased to have gotten him to call her at least. Then just stared at him waiting, holding out his phone. "Now? _Really?"_

John just smiled at them and shook his head, taking the phone. "You aren't going to let this thing go until I call her, _are_ you?" They shook their heads and he sighed, giving up. He dialed Ellen's number and she answered soon after. He made small talk for a bit until they twirled fingers to indicate he needed to get to the point and John groaned internally. "Would you consider going out to dinner with me?" John asked shyly, praying she didn't hang up on him. "I…I like you and have wanted to ask. But I get it if you don't want to…" John said and considered hanging up before she got the chance to do it to him.

"It's about time you asked." Ellen said and John blushed, "I'd love to, when?"

"We're a couple hours from home and I could be there in three hours, maybe less. If you want to go out we could…" John offered and the boys looked please with themselves…_and _him. He just rolled his eyes at their knowing looks and grinned anyway.

"Nah, you come to me, I'll cook you a home cooked meal, John. You need one! Then maybe…you should spend the night." Ellen said and got quiet; he could feel her blush through the phone, "If you want to…that is…you don't have to…" She sighed, "Never mind…too soon, I know."

"I'd love to! And I'll stay the night, if you're sure you still want me to…once dinner is over." John said softly, "So, see you in three hours then?" He bit a lip, worrying now. Suddenly nervous as if someone had put his bare feet to coals. Maybe she would change her mind by then?

"I'll be here, and don't even think of changing your mind, John Winchester!" Ellen growled and then sounded happy, "I've liked you for a while, too, John. Just hoped you'd ask me out before I got old and died. I get it, you're a hunter and no one gets you, only others like you do. Women like me want guys like you. We know hunters, we trust that part. It's the normal ones we don't trust or have much faith in. Something comes after us, Hunters fight for us, protect us, and others, the normal ones, they run like rain down a windshield and twice as fast, too. You are more than enough for me! So don't back out on me. I know where Bobby lives! I'll track your ass down, bring you here, tie your ass to my chair, and shove that dinner down your throat if I have to. Rape your ass if I have to, too." She teased and John chuckled, "Don't let me down, John."

"I won't. I'll be there soon." John promised and smiled softly now, "It'll be nice to have a date with you. It's been a while since I've had one."

"Me, too. You're a hard man to wait for." Ellen said and waited for his response. Smiling into the phone.

"You were waiting for me?" John said surprised and he heard her sultry chuckle, getting hard from it.

"Loved you for a while now, close to a year. It's why I forgave you, you idiot man. Come for dinner. Stay forever. If you want to." Ellen said blushing, "I love you, John. You don't have to feel the same but I thought I should tell you. In case you decided not to go ahead with the date."

"I…I've loved you for a while, too." John admitted and the boys looked thrilled, whispering to each other now, grinning at him, eyes happy for him. He shrugged and kept talking anyway. "I'll be there soon."

"You better; I hate when my food gets cold." Ellen said and hung up, feeling happy he had finally got the nerve up to call.

She finally would get that sexy man right where she wanted him!

In her bed.

Maybe talk him into staying. For forever if she had her way.

Bill had died and she'd blamed him but it wasn't his fault and she'd tried to keep blaming him, hating him, but had fallen for him instead. His gentle pleas for her to understand, his good heart in his eyes as he begged her to forgive him, and the ways he just smiled at her when he thought she wasn't looking. The way his dark eyes swept her form and made her feel precious and devoured by them at the same time. The way his voice made her wet and hot and made her think of hands on skin and lips on hers.

The way he always tried, even if it hurt to keep doing it. Just because it wasn't in him to stop trying. _Ever!_ A born hunter, a good man, and she saw his love for his sons and admired his loyalty and devotion to them. A good father and a damn good catch; if he'd _just_ take the bait…

She'd begun to think he'd never notice her interest but he had…and he'd finally called. So now she just had to seduce his dark sexy ass and find a way to make him love her the way she loved him. She prayed this would work; otherwise the chair option was still feasible until he agreed to be hers forever.

She _would_ have _that_ man! Body, mind, soul, and, most wanted of _all_, his _heart!_

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

They made Bobby's in an hour and a half. Dad broke every speed limit to get home now. He showered and trimmed his beard and hair, styled it perfectly, borrowed Sam's Axe spray, and put on his best clothes. His family whistled and teased him as he came downstairs afterward, but all admitted he looked devastating. And began laying bets on him even getting to eat a bite of dinner before she raped his ass. Other bets said she got him to marry her in a month; the boys bet on a week or two.

Dinner went well, and John stayed the night. But this could have been more due to the black _teddy_ she wore to dinner and then asked him to remove with his teeth, since his hands would be otherwise _occupied._

"Damn, woman, you are sexy!" John sighed as his teeth tugged down the other shoulder strap at the same time his hands caressed her tight ass and played with her below until she begged him to take her already. He refused and carried her to bed then, hands resuming their former tasks and his mouth devouring her breast and nipples, and lips and neck, then to her velvety folds so wet for him already. His mouth took her now and she spiraled into a screamed orgasm.

Then he got the condom on and made love to her for hours. Then she rode him after sucking him hard again and only cumming together hours later. Then John did an _amazing_ thing.

He kissed her softly and held her close, repeating he loved her over and over.

Then he proposed right _then_.

A week later, they were married in Bobby's yard and their reception was a family barbecue. Jo and Ash came, and so did Rufus, and Pastor Jim…and _Caleb_. Who Dean avoided as much as he could and refused to touch or make eye contact with even. Who shook in silent terror at the memory again of him doing that to him.

And John pulled Caleb aside and explained to the confused Hunter what was going on. To which Caleb looked horrified and approached Dean, and begged his forgiveness, which Dean gave readily enough. He didn't blame him, never had really. He blamed the spell. That much was true. But he still couldn't bear his touch or his voice or being around him too long. He still shook softly when the man cried onto his shoulder, still held fear in his eyes as he rocked him and patted his back. He still looked like he wanted to run screaming from him, even as he agreed to do therapy with Missouri Mosely with Caleb now, to try to get past the horror of his rape.

And he still cried in Sam's arms until he passed out from it, which in turn left them all helpless to fix _any_ of Dean's pain. Only Dean could do that and that would take time. Years even if Missouri was right about how deeply it had affected him.

Ellen was thrilled for Sam and Dean and hugged them hard. "Congratulations!" She said as she kissed their happy cheeks and seemed to really love John, at least it seemed so. No one blamed Caleb for the rape. They all knew how bad spells could get_, especially_ Dean.

But therapy went on for years and, almost ten years later, Dean was finally able to forgive Caleb for it; even though he had said he had already. A deeper part of him, a less lit and much harder to find part had, had housed that pain and nothing could ease it until Missouri dug deep into him and pulled it out, then was able to show it forgiveness. A year later, Caleb hunted with them sometimes and Dean didn't mind at all; they were friends again and that fit them both fine.

John moved into Ellen's apartment over her bar after the wedding. Both were happy together finally, and it had only taken years to get them there, and a _long _wait for love.

Both Sam and Dean, and John and Ellen all knew why it was worth the wait, too.

All the best Love lessons always were.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


End file.
